Stirred But Not Shaken

So it is a rainy Monday and Karen Carpenter's voice keeps running through my head. Rainy Days and Mondays.... Working from home these days isn't easy. The kids should be at summer camp outside running around building friendships and exploring the woods. Instead they have two choices: the third bedroom that is currently their playroom or outside in order that I can actually do what I get paid for. After an upset this morning they tend to be doing well, while I am, on the other hand, distracted.   Distracted by what lies ahead and how things will look. Distracted in constant prayer over decisions to be made and the end of hope deferred, all while trying to remain faithful to what I know God is asking me to do. So I pray. I beg God to remove the distractions from my mind, and yet they remain and I ask why. How long will hope be deferred? How will I know when my instructions to hold tight end? I ask, but really, I already know the answer ... so I ask when, when!? The answer doesn...

So, to follow up on my last post  Tired, but Good: An Open Letter  life has thrown me yet another curve ball. Yeah, so I was shaken up this evening when a sudden stop in my SUV wasn't fast enough. It didn't take long for word to get out, and for that I am thankful: a flood of text messages from those I don't see on social media. I have care for my kids while I get a rental tomorrow, and that can be tough at the last moment.  There are some days I feel like I am peering across a huge chasm of darkness, and I'm sure that's just where the enemy seems to want me. Not today. No, not today. My divorce left me in financial ruins, and this car isn't something I can just go out and get a loan to replace. Nope, this has got to last, or God has something better in store for me. That's just how it is, and I refuse to accept anything less than what a loving Father has for His daughter. As I say in my  June 4th post  it's all about identity and this is not a time to g...

I believe the original phrase is something like: give a man a fish he eats for one night, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Well, if you teach a woman to fish this is what happens: She longs for the solitude and peace next to the river, and won't hesitate to gut a fish without flinching. Really it doesn't matter if there's a catch or not, it is a life giving selah moment amidst the chaos of life.  When I was a teenager my grandfather took me out fishing. He knew several spots, but we would never catch a thing. I'd beg him to stop by the grocery store to pick up a dressed trout and I was chided for wanting to cheat. Years later he passed, but not without teaching me that watching the water and the sky will tell you how to live in the moment. Where you need to cast your line, your vision. Thanks to him, I caught my first fish without help, off an island only accessible by boat. Sadly I had no idea how to clean it, so catch and release it was. About 10 y...

Last fall I moved into a small house with a big yard. It is a well loved property with remnants of old perennial gardens. Built around 100 years ago, it also has some interesting finds. Yes, there are plaster and lathe walls behind several layers of wall paper, original beams in the basement, no heat on the second floor, and I heard that at one point there was an outhouse before the bathroom was added. Those aren't the kinds of finds I'm referring to though. This house has several neighbors. The field mice who think my home is there's and I'm still trying to figure out where they are getting in. There are the chipmunks that live under the tree out front, though we've come to an understanding that if they stay outside, I will continue to keep the suet feeders full. There are the fluffy bumble bees whose nest I've located and will leave alone because they are great pollinators for my my greenish brown thumb's attempt at growing vegetables. ...and then there is...

Today has been a long day at work. Working from home. As a mom of three, also at home. Just me. Today I found out that my plans for my boys to enjoy summer camp while I am at work were nixed. One will not open this year and the other dropped its enrollment to 1/6 of their capacity to meet social distancing requirements. I find a moment to get a glass of wine and take a glance at my social media accounts. There is no doubt to the commonality of what I see: fear, anger, and brokenness. It's pain, and a pain that God never intended for us to endure. We were meant to walk in companionship with Him, in Eden, in perfection. I think we can all agree that the world we live in is far from Eden. The enemy of our souls has come to steal, kill, and destroy. Christ comes to give living water, to bring us Holy Spirit: the Comforter, in order that we would find healing, hope, peace, and joy.  Now when I was little, and when the Sunday school teacher described the Holy Spirit as a comforter, I lit...