I wasn't meant for this...

Today has been a long day at work. Working from home. As a mom of three, also at home. Just me. Today I found out that my plans for my boys to enjoy summer camp while I am at work were nixed. One will not open this year and the other dropped its enrollment to 1/6 of their capacity to meet social distancing requirements. I find a moment to get a glass of wine and take a glance at my social media accounts. There is no doubt to the commonality of what I see: fear, anger, and brokenness. It's pain, and a pain that God never intended for us to endure. We were meant to walk in companionship with Him, in Eden, in perfection. I think we can all agree that the world we live in is far from Eden. The enemy of our souls has come to steal, kill, and destroy. Christ comes to give living water, to bring us Holy Spirit: the Comforter, in order that we would find healing, hope, peace, and joy. 

Now when I was little, and when the Sunday school teacher described the Holy Spirit as a comforter, I literally thought of a thick blanket that wrapped me tightly. A comforting weight. A hug, an embrace. A sense of well-being and sustenance. A companionship that never expired. To lack nothing I needed. This childlike image is no less true as an adult. Leaning into this, leaning into my relationship with the Father, gives hope where there is none, peace where there is conflict, and love where there is brokenness. 

God is a God of promises. He does and will see it to completion, and just when I want to throw up my hands and say, "God where are you? What happened? When will I see this, that, or the other thing?" ...and just like that, there He is. "Ruth, my promises are yes and amen. I see you. I love your heart. I see the pain you've endured, and it's never something I ever wanted for you. I love you and I desire for you to be whole." I have seen Him care for the widow, the orphan, and the foreigner. I have seen the provision where there was no human possibility. I have seen the prodigal come home and the outcast embraced. 

Our lives were meant for so much more, so much more. So as He's asked me, I sit and I wait for Him. Waiting is so hard when impatience is a universal human condition. The world has been under quarantine anxious to return to normal life. I get it, I really do. There are promises I've been waiting for more than 30 years, and dreams partially fulfilled. The Bible is full of promises, some that we have seen come to fruition - remember what we really celebrate at Christmas and Easter? Yet, that's not the end of the story. Oh no. Far from it. God has been making and keeping promises millennia after millennia, and He's not about to stop now. 

I wasn't meant for this, and neither are you. We were made for something far better. So in the midst of overwhelming brokenheartedness over civil unrest, racial justice, global pandemic, and insecurity, I challenge you to cast your gaze beyond today's circumstances and look to the promise of healing and restoration with God, and just watch Him do things you never thought possible. 

Stirred deeply,

Ruth